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Overwhelmed by Daily Tasks? CBT Insights for Women with ADHD

Black scribble on white background with text: "Overwhelmed by daily tasks? CBT insights for women with ADHD @togetherasavillage."

Many of us can feel overwhelmed at times by the daily life admin of adulting. Whether it's reading those group chats, replying to emails, messages, opening post, paying bills, making appointments, it all adds up. For some people, these tasks don’t just feel mundane and boring, they can feel overwhelming and paralysing.


Have you ever found yourself frozen in front of a simple to-do list, stuck in a loop of knowing you need to do something, feeling guilt, shame, anxiety or frustration but felt unable to get started, unable to think straight or break things down to know where to begin. This isn't uncommon but can feel so overwhlmeing and draining over time. For some women, this experience may be linked to undiagnosed or late-diagnosed ADHD.



Not the ADHD You’ve Heard About

When most people hear “ADHD” they have an image of an active child, this image is typically of a school aged boy. In recent years though, awareness has grown around how ADHD can present differently in women, especially those who are perhaps seen as 'bright', 'capable', and outwardly 'on top of things'.


Many women find they've learnt to mask their symptoms well into adulthood. Perhaps they have been previously praised for being busy, perfectionistic or efficient but they've been struggling with:

  • Difficulty starting (or finishing) tasks

  • Consistency

  • An ongoing sense of internal chaos

  • Difficulty retaining information, disorganisation, or time blindness

  • Feeling in a sate of overwhelm, feeling stuck or shutting down under pressure


This isn’t due to laziness,or a lack of intelligence which may be how this becomes internalised over time. In ADHD this may be s result of differences in executive functioning: the brain’s ability to manage tasks, time, memory, and emotion regulation.


🔍 Research suggests that ADHD is underdiagnosed in women, partly because they are more likely to internalise symptoms, or develop coping strategies that mask difficulties until adulthood (Quinn & Madhoo, 2014).

The Hidden Struggles of High-Achieving Women

Some of the women I work with describe themselves as “holding it together professionally but falling apart personally.” They may be in leadership roles, running businesses or managing complex households but still feel overwhelmed by personal admin, social obligations, or clutter at home.


Common experiences include:

  • Getting stuck replying to messages and avoiding emails

  • Feeling exhausted by decision-making

  • Pushing themselves too hard, then crashing

  • Holding unrealistic standards or expectations of themselves

  • Storng and persistent self-criticism for not being more, together, do more for others, or meet all expectations or demands on them.


While we can look to re orgsnise routienes to include a balance, problem solve and break tasks down, the problem can be a difference between how their brains operate and how our world perhaps expects us to operate.


How CBT Can Help (Even If You Don’t Have a Diagnosis of ADHD)

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can help women who recognise these patterns and behaviours, whether or not they have an ADHD diagnosis. It can offer tools to:

  • Notice and challenge your inner critic - “Why can’t I just do it?” might become - This is hard for my brain right now, what would support me right now?

  • Break tasks into small, clear, achievable steps

  • Identify and shift unhelpful thoughts and beliefs

  • Create more compassionate voice and relationship with yourself

  • Understand avoidance and build momentum safely


Often, our first step in therapy is idetifying nthe patterns in a safe, compassionate, collabritive aenvronment with someone who understands the struggles of ADHD in women.


A Note on Self-Compassion

Living in a world that rewards constant productivity, achievement and efficiency, can result in anyone feeling a sense of being behind or not where they should be. But if you are consistently overwhelmed by seemingly small tasks, or burning out trying to stay afloat, it might be time to ask: What does my brain need, not just what do others expect?


You are not lazy. You are not broken. You are not a failure. You may have reached a point of being echausted from working against your own mind.


Further Reading & References:

You Don’t Have to Push Through This Alone

If any of this feels familiar, CBT might offer a space to slow down, explore and understand what’s going on underneath the surface. With CBT you could develop tools that fit you. I offer a calm, collaborative space to explore overwhelm, perfectionism, and navigating the world with ADHD.

 
 
 
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