Summer Holidays Mum Guilt CBT Survival Guide

As a CBT Therapist and a Mum, I know Mum Guilt Hits Different in Summer.

The summer holidays can be a fantastically adventurous time or reconnection & exploration. A time to recharge and unwind & remember why you like each other again. BUT, for many mums, the juggle between work, social, family and child responsibilities come with a heavy side of guilt. You should be soaking up the precious memories of 18 summers, right? But instead, you are creating an Excel spreadsheet of shared childcare and coordinating holiday club drops offs or figuring out how to work from home while also entertaining the kids in an enriching joyous way. Or perhaps the holidays are in full swing and you find yourself counting down the minutes until bedtime, feeling touched out, overstimulated, and wondering why it all feels so hard, sat comparing yourself to others and feeling you’re failing or not good enough.

All of this doesn’t mean you’ve failed and it doesn't make you a bad parent.

💡 CBT Perspective: Why Mum Guilt Ramps Up in Summer

Without the structure of school routines or regular childcare, many mums feel an increase in:

• Sense of being overwhelmed

• The mental load increasing

• Feelings of failure or “not doing enough”

• Comparison to “fun mums” on social media

• Anxiety and burnout

With these things increasing, the mums I’ve spoke to also report having to juggle with this:

• Less downtime - less time for their own hobbies or interests, no time to exercise or relax.

• Less time to connect with their partner or friends

• Continued demands of work - feeling like they need to not let childcare impact work or the threat of being denied promotions, training or of being judged by colleagues.

• Financial stress - holidays clubs aren’t cheap and that can add a big financial burden or juggle too.

In CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) some of these feelings can be understood as a result of unrealistic beliefs, a ssumptions and pressure.

When we learn to spot these patterns, we can respond with self-compassion instead of criticism.

✅ 5 CBT Tips to Gently Manage Mum Guilt This Summer

1. Notice the “Should’s”

“I should be doing more... I should enjoy every second… I should be grateful.”

These thoughts often lead to feelings of guilt, shame and spiral into burnout.

CBT Strategy: Pause and ask yourself:

Is this thought true? Helpful? Kind?

Try this reframe:💬 “I’m doing my best with the energy I have today.”

2. Intentionally Lower the Bar

Comparison fuels guilt. When you are measuring yourself against an unrealistic standard (Pinterest-perfect activities, other parents' highlight reels), you are setting yourself up to feel inadequate.

CBT Reframe:💬 “My children don’t need perfect. They need me to be present and kind to myself.”

3. Validate Your Experience

You can love your kids and find the summer holidays long and hard work. You can feel overstimulated, touched-out, or anxious and still be a great mum.

Self-compassion tool:💬 “This is hard and that doesn’t mean I’m failing. It means I’m doing something that matters.”

4. Take Micro-Breaks

I’m not talking hiding in the cupboard but perhaps with the kids staying up later and your evening time dwindling, you don’t have to wait for bedtime to recharge? Even five quiet minutes or one slow cup of tea can regulate your nervous system. Or a brief relaxation exercise.

CBT Tip: Build small, realistic moments of calm into your day - guilt-free.

5. Challenge Black-and-White Thinking

Mum guilt often says: “If I’m not enjoying every second, I’m doing it wrong.”

CBT Response:💬 “Some moments are hard. Some are joyful. That’s normal.”

Your experience doesn’t need to be all-or-nothing. Parenting is a wide spectrum of emotions, and you are allowed to live in the grey.

💛 Final Thoughts: Guilt Doesn’t Mean You’re Doing It Wrong

In CBT, we often say this:

“Guilt is a feeling not a fact.”

This summer, give yourself permission to lower the bar if you’d like to and you’d find that helpful. Say no to unrealistic comparison and say yes to self compassion and support when you need it.

🌱 Ready to Feel Less Overwhelmed?

I help women work through anxiety, mum guilt, and the mental load using evidence-based CBT tools that actually work.

CBT Appointments avaialble online to fit flexibly around your schedule and competing demands or in clinic CBT in Bournemouth, Poole, Dorset. Book Online

📝 Want more tips? Follow @togetherasavillage on Instagram