Feeling Stuck Looking at the Messy Playroom? How CBT Can Help Mums Overcome Task Paralysis
- cbtbournemouth
- Oct 3, 2025
- 3 min read
“I Don’t Even Know Where to Start…”
It’s your day off, or late at night & the children are finally in bed……
You walk into the playroom…..
You see piles of toys, Lego, carefully crafted art surrounded by lots of little pieces, dolls and cushions feel like a mountain…..
You want to tidy… but instead you freeze!
You stare, sigh, maybe even walk away, lacking motivation, clarity, energy, not knowing where to start.
This experience might be task paralysis - feeling so overwhelmed by a task that you feel stuck before you can begin.
Many mums I work with describe this moment with a mix of guilt, shame and frustration. Knowing it needs to be done and perhaps knowing less visual mess makes you feel less stress but not being able to achieve that calm in the chaos.
You are not lazy or failing. You are good enough. There might be a reason your brain reacts this way.
Why Task Paralysis Happens
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) offers a helpful framework for understanding cognitive this feeling called the 5 Areas Model (sometimes called the hot crossed bun).
It explains how different parts of our experience feed into one another and keep us feeling stuck mentally and physically.
Situation: The sight of the messy playroom.
Thoughts: “This is impossible… I should be better at this…I can’t do it, I’ll never get on top of it, I’m a bad Mum”.
Emotions: Overwhelm, guilt, anxiety, frustration.
Physical feelings: A heavy chest, tense, blurred vision, hot, dizzy, restless.
Behaviours: Putting it off, scrolling on your phone, avoid, delay, distract, sit in the mess…. Leads to more thought, more feelings of overwhelm and more physical symptoms of anxiety.
Once you can break down and understand these reactions are part of a cycle - not a sign of personal failing - you can begin to change them and break the cycles.
How CBT Helps Break the Cycle
CBT doesn’t just tell you to “try harder”.
It helps you learn practical, realistic tools to manage the thoughts, feelings and behaviours that keep you stuck and break the cycles:
Re-thinking the task: Replace all-or-nothing thoughts (“I must do it perfectly”) with realistic ones (“I can start with one corner”).
Breaking tasks down: Choose the first small, concrete step - for example, put all the Lego into one box.
Grounding and calming: breathing or grounding techniques reduce the physical stress response so you can focus and bring your mind back to the present.
Behavioural experiments: For example, test how two minutes of action can make the task feel.
A Mum’s Story
One client described standing in the doorway of the playroom every evening, feeling like a absolute failure, feeling stuck and overwhelmed, absolutely hating themselves.
Together, we used CBT to understand the cycle and try new steps.
Within a couple of weeks, the task no longer felt impossible.
Her confidence grew, and she found she had more energy for herself and her children. She was able to notice those unhelpful standards and build self compassion.
CBT Can Support More Than Just Tidying
The same cycle of thoughts, feelings and avoidance often shows up with:
Household chores
Work admin
Emails and paperwork
Even reaching out for therapy
Learning to break the cycle can be life-changing.
Start Moving Forward Today
If you are feeling stuck or overwhelmed, CBT could help you feel calmer, more in control, and better equipped to cope with life’s demands.
I offer in clinic appointments in Dorset and online remote CBT therapy to adults across the UK. I specialise in anxiety, perfectionism and burnout.
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