How to Relax on Holiday with Kids: Tips From a CBT Therapist

By Rebecca Cox, CBT Therapist | cbtbournemouth.com | rebeccacoxcbt.co.uk

Summer holidays with the kids can be a lot of fun, but they can also feel far from relaxing. Whether you’re wrestling your toddler in to a sunsuit, covered in sticky sunscream, subject to constant demands for snacks or hearing frequent sibling squabbles, finding peach and space to rest and recharge can feel impossible.

As a CBT therapist and parent myself, I understand the mental load that comes with the much needed family holiday. In this post, I’ll share some practical, CBT-informed ways to reduce stress, regulate your emotions, and hopefully shift your mindset where possible, so you can enjoy your time away and come home more restored than frazzled!

Why is it so hard to relax on family holidays?

You know you could do with a break and do enjoy time reconnecting with the kids and now find yourself feeling overwhlemed and stressed out, struggling under the weight of the mental load. This isn't uncommon. This doesn't mean you're a failure or not doing parenting well enough. Here's some possible explnations ofor that difficulty relaxing:

• High expectations: Our exposure is often to images and reels of the ‘perfect holiday’, how to do it better, how to make those precious memories, how to make the most of every minute. It can feel disspointing and frustrating when the every day reality doesn't match up with these short clips.

• The mental load continues: Holidays bring new sceduling, coordinating, packing, juggling and many more variables with everyones needs to accomodate.

• Routine disruption: We know that children are likely to thrive on structure and routiene. Predictable things to know what's expected and what's coming next. One of the lovely things about holidays is the flexibility to be less restricted by clubs, school, work, time demands, but this can be tricky for children who thrive on routienes and can result in overstimulation and disregulation.

• No emotional “off-switch”: If you've been running on adrenaline, it can take time for your nervous system to settle down.

  
  

CBT helps us recognise and adjust the thoughts, feelings and behaviours that keep us stuck in stress mode. Lets have a look at some ideas to speed up the switch off.

7 CBT Therapist Strategies to Help You Relax on Holiday With Your Kids:

1. Let go of the “perfect holiday” pressure:

Notice when you’re thinking “we should be doing more” or “this isn’t good enough” These are common cognitive distortions like unhelpful comparisons or all-or-nothing thinking. Try to catch these thoughts and notice those unhelpful thinking styles. Is there another way to look at this? What would I say to someone else thiking that way?

🧠 “It might not be perfect but slowing down is still valuable.”

2. Use grounding techniques while feeling overwhelmed or during transitions:

When things feel chaotic, take 30 seconds for a grounding exercise:

• Name 5 things you can see

• 4 things you can feel

• 3 things you can hear

• 2 things you can smell

• 1 thing you can taste

This calms your nervous system and brings your attention back to the present acting as a mental and physcial reset.

3. Schedule small breaks:

Relaxation doesn’t have to mean hours in the spa or quiet hours by the pool. Small regular resets can make a difference too:

• Five minutes alone with a coffee - really taking in the senses, the smell, taste, temperature.

• Listening to a podcast while the kids nap or are occupied

• Breathing deeply while applying suncream - in for 7, out for 11 - you can do this, this stress wont last forever.

  
  

4. Challenge the voice of guilt:

Many parents feel guilty for not being “present enough” or needing time alone to reset and recharge. CBT helps you spot and reframe this inner critic:

🧠 “Looking after my own wellbeing helps me be a more patient, present and connected parent.”

5. Create a flexible rhythm:

Instead of rigid plans (which often get derailed), try creating a loose daily rhythm, perhaps similar to the one at home but more flexible. Wake up, breakfast, play, snack, swim, rest, dinner, so that everyone knows what to expect. This reduces stress for kids and adults alike.

6. Practice Self Compassion:

   Try one of these exercises to build your compassionate voice.

7. Daily check in:

📝 List 3 things:

• that went well today

• you enjoyed

• that were a challenge

• things you learned

• you'd like to do tomorrow

Remember: You Deserve Rest Too

Relaxing on holiday with kids might not be about achieving calm at all times. It could be allowing space for rest, fun, creativity, laughter, mess, and moments of connection. Mixed in with some chaos!

Are you looking for individual CBT sessions to support you in managing the mental load of parenting?

As a qualified BABCP accredited CBT Therapist I offer evidence-based CBT for adults both in-person in Bournemouth, Poole and Wimborne in Dorset and online across the UK.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, or struggling to switch off and looking for support with therapy to understand how you are feeling, build compassion for yourself and reset your habits you can book your first CBT session here: Book Online or get in contact with me via email: 📧 rebecca@rebeccacoxcbt.co.uk

📍 Based in Dorset | Online CBT available UK-wide & in person in Dorset